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My Blog


Depression & Anxiety: It's Effect On Relationships and Overall Well-being

Posted on June 26, 2018 at 1:50 PM Comments comments (20)
Depression and anxiety play a major role in how we feel about ourselves and others.  But, it doesn't have to control your life.

When depression and anxiety kick in, your desire to do even the smallest things becomes a major issue.  We tend to fall back on work, our fitness goals, our diet and exercise but most importantly it plays havoc on personal relationships.

Both conditions can be so severe that medication is required which can also have side-effects.  The #1 issue with both of these conditions is; you fail yourself first!

Others will not know what is going on unless you tell them, which is not going to happen most of the time. When we feel down, depressed, or anxious; we tend to withdraw.  We avoid leaving our homes or other places of comfort.  Your daily routine changes drastically.  We cry, we laugh, we sleep and we don't take care of ourselves.

I have found that struggling with PTSD; which causes depression and anxiety; the best thing to do is change your surroundings.  No, I'm not talking about moving from your bed to your couch; I am talking about getting up and completely moving away from where you are at that moment.  Go outside; take a walk; go shopping; go for a bicycle ride; go to the gym - even invite a friend out to lunch.  Remove yourself from the place where you are depressed or anxious at that moment. 

Oftentimes, writing in a journal and actually seeing the issues in your own writing will help you to better understand what you are dealing with at that moment.  Write a letter to yourself; the person you once were; or your future self.  The hardest thing to do is discuss what is bothering you with another person, not because we don't trust the person; but because on some level we feel week; or that others may judge us for what we are dealing with.  Remember:  it is a reality for you and does not have to be understood by anyone else.  A good friend, family member, or co-worker will not try to offer advice on how to change anything; but to be there for you unconditionally.

Finally how it can destroy your personal relationships.  Most importantly your spouse or significant other.

A relationship requires 100% from both involved.  Divorce is 50-50!  Communication and respect for each other is critical.  You don't have to express specific details pertaining to what you are dealing with, but you must let them know that you are in a form of crisis at that moment.  Your spouse or significant other can then make sure you are ok; to check on you occasionally; to ask if you need anything; and to be a shoulder when you need it.

The cause of your depression and anxiety is not always the biggest concern.  The concern is that you are taking care of yourself!  Just as you are there for others, allow them to be there for you.  Trust those who love you.  Express your concerns to them.  Communicate with them.  The love you have for each other will remain strong when you express yourself freely.

My mom (that wise woman; who never got enough credit); told me; mijo, whatever happens in your relationship never go to bed mad!  I never really understood what that meant.  I recently realized what that truly means.  In a relationship, many things cause frustration, many things aren't understood, many things feel like tearing the relationship apart.  But, how you react to those things is what proves your love for each other.  If you can say you are sorry, and truly mean it.  If you can embrace after an argument.  If you can say "I love you unconditionally", every night before you go to bed.  That is when you will know the depth of your spouse or significant other.

Depression and anxiety are no joke!  Express yourself.  Take care of yourself.  Love yourself!